Thank you, ego

It's not a good time to be "blogging" -- not early enough to feel crisp -- not late enough to feel like i'm taking a break from my day. Good excuse right?!

So I'm developing this new business plan. And I'm doubting. Big time. What I would have liked to create already exists. Do you know how frustrating that is? Story (excuse) of my life: day late, dollar short. I guess everyone probably has their own stumbling block that shows up every time they think they have a good idea...their own internal critic that tells them: yaaaaaaaaaaa, NO. So what I'm reminding myself to do is to keep working on it.

Whether or not resources already exist, doesn't mean that there's not room for more resources of a different (but similar) kind. I need to figure out what unique qualities that I (capital I) can bring to the table--that will help more, or in a different way, or in a way that makes sense for certain kinds of people.

Stumbling block # 2: the kind of people I want to work with (the kind of people I like) would have their shit together enough already to not need anything from me. So let's get this straight: I want to work with people who don't need me? That is so odd. BUT--it's just a stumbling block! It's just an excuse! It's just a story! The kind of people who need me are: extremely creative. Brilliant even. Fucking geniuses. Brilliant creative geniuses who don't have the time or the skills to run day to day operations to make what they do WHAT THEY DO.

I don't want to see certain people working in coffee shops anymore--inasmuch as I know people just LOVE working in coffee shops. I want them to be working on their work! I want it to be profitable and worthwhile for them to do so! I want to be that supportive resource that guarantees that it's going to work because they are geniuses and I have a plan for them.

So here's the extra hard part. The ego part. The part where I pout and say "but what about MY genProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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s"? "Is it not worth investing this kind of energy in MYSELF"? "Is my gift to the world really about resourcing other people"? And another: "If I really am good at this stuff, why am I not a wildly successful artist"? Because my brain works both ways I have never committed myself wholly to the life of the artist. I have too much pragmatism and common sense and I can get high paying jobs selling advertising. Therein lies the conundrum. Thank you ego. Thank you very much.

(color) scheming

I love a color scheme...especially when it emerges from two projects and one snack that are all being worked on at once.  This one was especially cohesive, so I went over to ColourLovers and made a palette and a pattern out of it.

Reconstructed

So, the superhero and supervillian turned out pretty good. I had something completely different in my head, but sometimes (all the time?) things end up different...especially when collaborating. I need to learn that there's an inherent BEAUTY in that...such a control freak, I. Anyway, we had two extremely talented and engaging models, which made the whole thing that much better. Strangely, for me--the most fun part was making a stencil and spraypainting big diamonds on that black cape...