Bike Metaphor Part II (Contrived, but true)

Why I wrote "Part I" on my last post is a complete mystery.  I had no plans to follow up, but I suppose it was a good tactic to require a forced "Part II".  

I've got my eye on a new bike.  It's top of the line.  It's fast, it's beautiful, it works really really well, and it has a lifetime warranty.  I've never been wooed by the idea of a lifetime warranty before because all of my decisions have been so temporary.  "This will work for now." type of stuff.  (Do I have commitment issues?)   But suddenly I'm having more of a long-term approach to where I put my energy, resources, commitments.  Did I mention this bike is super expensive?   Money shouldn't be an issue.  (But it is.)  I still want the bike, and I will not compromise.  

Bicycle Metaphor Part I

Lately I've been frustrated. You know, with myself. In an attempt to treat myself with more compassion, I'm not going to judge it, I'm going to make a metaphor out of it. There's something infinitely more cathartic about processing through frustration via metaphor.

So I'm learning how to "ride a bike" (start/run a business). A little late in life too--all my friends already know how to ride. They're out tearing up the streets sans training wheels (although they do have pretty terrible accidents sometimes, and end up not being able to ride a bike at all). And there's so much fear because 3 people have been killed by bikes in the past month in this very town. So sad. And true (not part of the metaphor). And then there's me--teetering along, scared shitless, so not confident in the strength of my legs or my sense of balance.

So I'm scooting along on my bike, which quite frankly might not even be the right bike for me. It might be too small. It feels slow, and might need a tune up. Perhaps I need to take the plunge and invest in a bigger, comfier, faster, sleeker more fancy bike? Perhaps I need to suck it up and make do with what I have? Either way, I'm just resisting it. There's freedom that comes from knowing how to get on a bike and ride. And freedom can be scary. And so I have excuses about why it's not 'clicking'. I have throngs of people supporting me--holding on to the seat and stabilizing me--just waiting for me to zoom off on my own. They're saying "you can do it" but the more I hear that, the more distracted I get about what it is I actually have to do.

Ah ha! There it is. What is IT? The thing that you need to actually be able to ride a bike? It's not a you can do IT. It's a you can do all of these things at the same time in perfect harmony with one another. So while I've been looking for an IT, I really have been avoiding all of the parts that make IT up. Balance, strength, concentration, focus, coordination, desire, flexibility. Yup. There it is.

Biking is fancy

Right now, it's all about bikes. Thus, it's all about bike bags--from here on out. A bike bag is just a bag--but with the addition of two sturdy snap straps on the back that make it possible to attach it to handlebars, racks, or whatever part of your bike you desire. I've decided that every medium sized bag I make from now on will have this option. It just makes sense! (You can also attach the straps to your belt for a gigantic fanny pack, if you are so inclined. The brown & pink one will be donated to the winner of the upcoming Dirty in Pink alley cat bike race. Where will the second one end up? Etsy? That's a novel idea.

Thank you, ego

It's not a good time to be "blogging" -- not early enough to feel crisp -- not late enough to feel like i'm taking a break from my day. Good excuse right?!

So I'm developing this new business plan. And I'm doubting. Big time. What I would have liked to create already exists. Do you know how frustrating that is? Story (excuse) of my life: day late, dollar short. I guess everyone probably has their own stumbling block that shows up every time they think they have a good idea...their own internal critic that tells them: yaaaaaaaaaaa, NO. So what I'm reminding myself to do is to keep working on it.

Whether or not resources already exist, doesn't mean that there's not room for more resources of a different (but similar) kind. I need to figure out what unique qualities that I (capital I) can bring to the table--that will help more, or in a different way, or in a way that makes sense for certain kinds of people.

Stumbling block # 2: the kind of people I want to work with (the kind of people I like) would have their shit together enough already to not need anything from me. So let's get this straight: I want to work with people who don't need me? That is so odd. BUT--it's just a stumbling block! It's just an excuse! It's just a story! The kind of people who need me are: extremely creative. Brilliant even. Fucking geniuses. Brilliant creative geniuses who don't have the time or the skills to run day to day operations to make what they do WHAT THEY DO.

I don't want to see certain people working in coffee shops anymore--inasmuch as I know people just LOVE working in coffee shops. I want them to be working on their work! I want it to be profitable and worthwhile for them to do so! I want to be that supportive resource that guarantees that it's going to work because they are geniuses and I have a plan for them.

So here's the extra hard part. The ego part. The part where I pout and say "but what about MY genProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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s"? "Is it not worth investing this kind of energy in MYSELF"? "Is my gift to the world really about resourcing other people"? And another: "If I really am good at this stuff, why am I not a wildly successful artist"? Because my brain works both ways I have never committed myself wholly to the life of the artist. I have too much pragmatism and common sense and I can get high paying jobs selling advertising. Therein lies the conundrum. Thank you ego. Thank you very much.

(color) scheming

I love a color scheme...especially when it emerges from two projects and one snack that are all being worked on at once.  This one was especially cohesive, so I went over to ColourLovers and made a palette and a pattern out of it.

Reconstructed

So, the superhero and supervillian turned out pretty good. I had something completely different in my head, but sometimes (all the time?) things end up different...especially when collaborating. I need to learn that there's an inherent BEAUTY in that...such a control freak, I. Anyway, we had two extremely talented and engaging models, which made the whole thing that much better. Strangely, for me--the most fun part was making a stencil and spraypainting big diamonds on that black cape...

Project Runway?

Oh, dear imaginary reader. Am I Project Runway material? I really have no idea. I would like to see someone like me on the show--but would America? I have my doubts. Anyway, I filled out the application, designed some stuff, sewed some stuff, took pictures of some stuff, made a freaking video (by myself on my lunch break) and sent it all in on time. If nothing else, I'm just glad I did it...for the sake of doing it. Nuff said. I really like the way this top turned out though. I'm going to wear it tomorrow...