Lately I've been frustrated. You know, with myself. In an attempt to treat myself with more compassion, I'm not going to judge it, I'm going to make a metaphor out of it. There's something infinitely more cathartic about processing through frustration via metaphor.
So I'm learning how to "ride a bike" (start/run a business). A little late in life too--all my friends already know how to ride. They're out tearing up the streets sans training wheels (although they do have pretty terrible accidents sometimes, and end up not being able to ride a bike at all). And there's so much fear because 3 people have been killed by bikes in the past month in this very town. So sad. And true (not part of the metaphor). And then there's me--teetering along, scared shitless, so not confident in the strength of my legs or my sense of balance.
So I'm scooting along on my bike, which quite frankly might not even be the right bike for me. It might be too small. It feels slow, and might need a tune up. Perhaps I need to take the plunge and invest in a bigger, comfier, faster, sleeker more fancy bike? Perhaps I need to suck it up and make do with what I have? Either way, I'm just resisting it. There's freedom that comes from knowing how to get on a bike and ride. And freedom can be scary. And so I have excuses about why it's not 'clicking'. I have throngs of people supporting me--holding on to the seat and stabilizing me--just waiting for me to zoom off on my own. They're saying "you can do it" but the more I hear that, the more distracted I get about what it is I actually have to do.
Ah ha! There it is. What is IT? The thing that you need to actually be able to ride a bike? It's not a you can do IT. It's a you can do all of these things at the same time in perfect harmony with one another. So while I've been looking for an IT, I really have been avoiding all of the parts that make IT up. Balance, strength, concentration, focus, coordination, desire, flexibility. Yup. There it is.
So I'm learning how to "ride a bike" (start/run a business). A little late in life too--all my friends already know how to ride. They're out tearing up the streets sans training wheels (although they do have pretty terrible accidents sometimes, and end up not being able to ride a bike at all). And there's so much fear because 3 people have been killed by bikes in the past month in this very town. So sad. And true (not part of the metaphor). And then there's me--teetering along, scared shitless, so not confident in the strength of my legs or my sense of balance.
So I'm scooting along on my bike, which quite frankly might not even be the right bike for me. It might be too small. It feels slow, and might need a tune up. Perhaps I need to take the plunge and invest in a bigger, comfier, faster, sleeker more fancy bike? Perhaps I need to suck it up and make do with what I have? Either way, I'm just resisting it. There's freedom that comes from knowing how to get on a bike and ride. And freedom can be scary. And so I have excuses about why it's not 'clicking'. I have throngs of people supporting me--holding on to the seat and stabilizing me--just waiting for me to zoom off on my own. They're saying "you can do it" but the more I hear that, the more distracted I get about what it is I actually have to do.
Ah ha! There it is. What is IT? The thing that you need to actually be able to ride a bike? It's not a you can do IT. It's a you can do all of these things at the same time in perfect harmony with one another. So while I've been looking for an IT, I really have been avoiding all of the parts that make IT up. Balance, strength, concentration, focus, coordination, desire, flexibility. Yup. There it is.
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